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Drugs 101: Reefer madness!

Author: Philippe
Posted: 28 Sep 2004, it was bound to come up eventually. Granted, I've been avoiding the crap out of this particular drug since I first started doing the Drugs 101 articles, mainly because of the fact that it's near impossible to discover the real facts about it. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It's pot!

I also am quite sure that I'll get the most feedback on this one by people who simply smoke pot, heard something somewhere, and suddenly think that they are experts in the drug.

I'll tell you what, guys. 2 things. If you want to be on the site, feel free to e-mail any member of TTA about the article and we'll put you up on the site. However, unless you go to MIT or some related ivy league school, I don't give a crap about what you think. Doing a drug does, in no way, give you an expertise in that drug. It simply gives you an expertise in what happens to you while you do the drug. With that being said, lets get right into it, shall we?

Cannabis! We all know what it looks, smells, and tastes like. Granted, I don't smoke pot anymore and haven't for around seven years at this point. I can still recognize it almost instantly, though. It grows in every state, almost every country, and on almost every continent in the world (free cookies to anyone who can guess which continent or continents it doesn't grow on!).

The most commonly-used parts of the plant are the leaves or the flower tops, which are most often smoked but can also be eaten and mixed into any number of delicious treats.

Small aside here. My friend Bagel had a wonderful recipe for pork and beans and pot that we used to occasionally eat. The recipe is as follows.

  • one can of baked beans
  • 4 hot dogs
  • pot to taste

    Mix it all up in a...ermm...pot and cook on low, low heat for about an hour. Share and enjoy! Man, I miss Bagel., back to the article at hand. There are three different types of cannabis that people get their freak on with: Sativa, Rederalis, and Indica. There're plenty of other types of cannabis as well (hemp), but the THC levels are so low that you can't smoke them and get any goodness from them, so they're mainly used by hippies to make shirts and rope. The smokeable types up there are usually mixed and interbred into whatever type of pot you prefer, ie, really strong good shit, or weak and lame bad shit, and all levels in between. Isn't botany fun?

    The active ingredient in the stickiest of the icky are called cannabinoids. There're a a lot of them in the plant, but the one that you want is called delta 9 tetrahudrocannabinol.

    Like almost every other plant in the world, they found out about the lovely effects of this bad boy thousands of years ago in China and India and such. It made its way on over to the west and the new world in the early 1800s.

    But you didn't really want to know that did you? Hell, if you're still reading, I'm sure it's just to see where I'm about to go wrong in the negative effects list. Luckily, the negative effects aren't all that bad at all and, in my experience, pot is just as safe as tobacco as far as health concerns go.

    Still, there're a few side effects to the euphoria: anxiety, getting sleepy, being confused, impaired memory and motor skills, and pretending that freeing Tibet is an important thing. Other effects include making those shirts that are just a square of fabric in the front and kind of a string around the back that hippies wear, and drum circles. Fucking drum circles. Hackey sack is another one. I've seen, like, one person who was good at hackey sack.

    Impaired driving skills, of course. However, my opinion is that you shouldn't do any dangerous thing while under the influence of anything. That's just an opinion, though...granted, it's the correct opinion, but rest assured you're probably not going to mow down an 8-year-old girl outside of the Jack in the Box like on those godawful Free Vibe commercials. It's not more dangerous than we all thought. In fact, those commercials are dangerous because they only concentrate on the one drug that really isn't dangerous. Where'd they get the money? From the cocaine awareness fund? I'd say that keeping people off of heroin and coke is probably a better bet. I mean, I love coke, but let's face it, it's not exactly safe to take narcotics. Damn., back to reality for a minute. Side effects. Most of the bad things I listed above are only bad when you're actually high. The memory loss, for example. Once you're normal, as it were, you get everything back. Two, it depends on what you're smoking and how much you've smoked. There's no evidence, however, that prolonged use can lead to permanent memory loss.

    Another side effect is addiction. Now, pot is a weird drug in this way. It is addictive. A lot of people don't like to admit it, but of course it's addictive. I've seen people that can't or don't want to function unless they have a joint beforehand. That being said, it's almost all a mental addiction rather than a physical one. THC stays in your body for almost a month after you smoke. So over the next thirty days after that night, your body slowly releases THC into your system. Thus, no withdrawals. Fancy shmancy, huh? It's like a natural rehab clinic in your fat cells. I think that's badass.

    In fact, the only long term health problem is lung and throat problems. Same as cigarettes. It's different types of tar, resin, and gunk, but it's there all the same. Now, there's not a proven cancer-causing agent in the pot gunk, but you're kidding yourself if you think that there's no risk at all from smoking anything. Jogging is probably better for you, is what I'm trying to say here.

    So, other than the people who are allergic to the plant, the dangers are minimal. Keep in mind, however, that any psychedelic can bring out underlying mental problems in anyone who's prone to them. But you knew I was going to say that, right? Because I make it a point to keep you informed. As always, trust your dealer, and try to avoid pot that's laced with PCP, for instance. Some people prefer to mix their drugs, but I, for one, am a purist at heart. So yes, trust your dealer and everything in moderation. Also keep those reefers where they will not be found. Any other information can be gained from experimentation or watching Half Baked or Reefer Madness, as both movies are simply hysterical.

    Hippies suck.

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