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How to kill

Author: Philippe
Posted: 07 Aug 2004

How to succesfully hunt someone in four easy steps? Get them and kill them! That's what I suggest you do. "But Philippe," you ask, "How can killing and smiting be so easy? What's your secret?"

Well, I'll tell you dear friends. I simply follow the following four steps which I mentioned earlier. They're easy to follow and fun to do! So gather 'round, my bloodthirsty children, that you may know what I know. Lock the target.

Gotta know who you want to catch, skin, and kill. Pick one of your hated enemies. Bait the line.

Find out what they like. Do they like cheese sandwiches? Monkeys? Perhaps they enjoy red rope licorice. If you can't find any of these things, then may I suggest a jewel of some sort? Everybody enjoys jewelry. Diamonds last forever, after all. Slowly spread the net.

You can't go too quickly. Make sure that you can easily trap your hated enemy when he goes for the cheese sandwich. It's vitally important, too, that they not know you intend to trap them. You catch the man!

Catch, kill, and scalp your hated enemy.

Wash, rinse, and repeat with a new hated enemy.

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