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Offers you can't refuse

Author: Johnson
Posted: 23 Nov 2005

Sometimes you have to make do with what you get. Spam isn't quite as magical as it used to be, I'm afraid. However, I'll forge ahead unheeding.

Here's what may be the best faux pas I've seen yet in spam:

From: "Eliza Faulk" <a_mochalov@list.ru>
Subject: shame of sex? we can change it
Date: Tue, 22 Nov 2005 18:32:23 +0000

Oh really? I knew that science could give me boobs these days, but I never thought I'd be propositioned in an unsolicited bulk email. I'll have to think about this one.

Jessica (info@regional-shopping.com) had the following to say:
I know your company!

You do? Damn, you're good. Are you watching us? Anyway, she continues:
lt is really hard to recollect a company: the market is full of sugqestions and the information is overwhelminq; but A GOOD CATCHY LOGO ,STYLlSH STATlONERY and OUTSTANDlNG WEBSITE wiII make the task much easier.

Now I know. We absolutely need TTA stationery. Without it we're lost, floating amidst the flotsam that is the Internet. With stationery, I could write a memo to Tony calling him a jackass. I could fax Philippe all the way in NYC to ask that he stop at the 7-11 on his way home from work and see how many slices of expired American cheese he can eat before the clerk notices. I could draw an anthropomorphic penis for Tyler and leave it on his desk at work. We'll be overwhelminq, truly reaching The Next Step, if we have a logo and some goddamned stationery.

OK, this isn't very funny anymore. It wasn't very funny to begin with, actually. I thought the sex change one was, but it isn't anymore. It's going up on the site anyway, though, because it's Wednesday and I'm feeling crazy.

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