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I can't make this shit up

Author: Johnson
Posted: 28 Sep 2004

Seriously, the following are all passages from spam I recently received. There were some lines that were just too tempting to keep to myself.

Nicole Metcalf (orrajgyqog@yahoo.com) sent a delightful message with the following subject:

narrow DEBUGGED Mccauley ThumbShifter BLOODSTAIN

That right there kicks some serious ass. It was one of those typical spam mails containing an image and a bunch of filter-breaking random words, but those are what occasionally make reading them worthwhile:
lunarmonth CANVASBACK trip chon EMPIRE VIOLIN MicroadjustSeatposts float CONVOLUTION Chainwheel ecru canyon ride VALUATE DAHLIA FACSIMILE WHITEWASH Sport-touringBicycle Rayshell BRAWL WASHY Routan WREAK eide CONTROLLER

It sounds like a KOMPRESSOR song. What the fuck are MicroadjustSeatposts?

Next up, from Kurt Cahill (jyteaziqkryoh@yahoo.com), has this bitchin' phrase for a subject:
Gerrilee granulation COMBUSTIBLE antipodalpoint

As usual, the body contained the following bit:
EAGERVENGEANCE arcuate AEROSOL CHEATWILDFIRE corona BARBARIC ETHNOLOGYoutstanding inclination Spunk CONDUCIVE CROTCHWATERY plage APPLY ATTORNEYwrong lunarmonth EIGHT ASHENVETERAN regio DIELECTRIC DELINQUENToldest farrum EPIDERMIC

That's gotta be the most violent piece of spam I'm received. OK, well, the most non-intentionally violent piece of spam. Sort of sounds like Megadeth lyrics, actually, except for one thing -- what the fuck is a CROTCHWATERY?

The next one up, from Jerold Hines (DPFYSJ@yahoo.com), wasn't so special but for its subject:
FrontDrive nuclear thump ATHEIST

That sounds like pure EBM right there, maybe KMFDM or something. This one actually repeated some body text from Mr. Cahill. Something may be foul in Denmark's inbox.

That's all for now, though. Stay tuned for more tales of terror! And stuff!

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