Team Totally Awesome
Posted: 01 Aug 2004
I just recently discovered that someone has created a yahoo fan group devoted to my feet. Specifically, my feet while wrestling or something. What do I do? How should I feel? They were awful sneaky about setting it up, but as of now its still a small group. Do I need to say something to them? Can I pretend it doesn't exist? What's the best course of action to take when someone does something liek this?
My advice is to sell them T-shirts. Sell them T-shirts for forty bucks a pop and include a pair of socks that you've worn for a day in the sale. They'll buy the shirt for the socks. You get your rent paid for a couple of months. Then after they all have a T-shirt and some socks, get the owner of the wrestling site where they got the pictures to shut down the group.
I believe Ripley said it best: "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. That's the only way to be sure."
And now, as a special treat, a response from our political correspondant Blake, and Boobsquad member Krystal! What do you have for us guys?
1. Start a webgroup devoted to mocking and humiliating those pathetic losers and their lame foot fetish.
2. Hire detectives to find out who they are, posting their names and addresses on your site, and humiliating them further.
3. If you really have a problem with it, there are these guys called "lawyers."
4. Or just admit that you set the site up yourself for some shameless self-promotion.
Man, my brain hurts. 14 hours is too long to work. Hmmmm. Man, Philippe is right on this one. You could make a fortune! Not only T-shirts and socks, but plaster foot casts. People will pay anything for a fetish. If only they were nearby, you could charge them to give you a footrub! Being paid to get a footrub would be the best thing ever.
I think your course of action is as clear as day, yo. You need to exploit this for all it's worth. I'm willing to bet you can start getting these people to buy you all sorts of shit, so long as you keep supplying them with images of your feet. And I'm sure there's a never ending supply of those.
Really, this is the price you pay for celebrity. I have no doubt there're other groups set up that worship other, less normal, parts of your body, like your sinuses or something else that's equally disturbing. I mean, if peeps be lovin' yo' feet, that should really be the least of your worries.
In essence, what I'm saying is step in take what you can get. What else can you do?
Though you should make them take down the wrestling pictures and just promise them some different, non wrestling related, hot foot sex action pictures.