Team Totally Awesome
Posted: 10 Dec 2004
(based on Girlfriend 4: On how I spent my Thanksgiving)
Ok, This is gonna be short.
It's something that's been bothering me a lot of late.
It's something simple and good for all of our ladies to know, understand and practice.
Ladies. You don't need to break up with your boyfriend in person. It's unnecesary and stupid. (If you happen to live 2000 miles away for instance, the phone is perfectly good and in fact a short email will do.)
Now I have no idea if girls want the same thing. Luckily I have a whole boobsquad to pick the brains of so lets find out.
But as far as the girls are concerned I feel I have to stress this. The breakup doesn't need to be in person. All it does is waste the guys time. Unless there's breakup sex involved of course, then it's up to your discretion.
As for the girls...
No fucking way! A guy not breaking up in person is seen as one of the ultimate acts of cowardice.
I do not believe it needs to be in person. It can make matters worse. And the whole "need for closure" excuse doesn't work. Usually it means the person wants to cry and whine in front of you, make you feel bad. Break-up sex for whoever wants/needs it, it's a personal choice. I, however, feel that not seeing the person who is breaking up with me is better for 2 reasons...
1. I'm female and, therefore, its going to make me mad. I can't change that. Helps with getting over said person.
2. I'd rather see the person, also helps with moving on, quickly.
As for me, emails, phone call, or IMs have done the job when I break up with someone. I don't have to time for the sobbing. Yeah, I may be cold and bitter, but I am busy, too.
Hope that helps ;)
Let's think about my last few breakups...phone, phone, in person but very briefly, and then someone before that once pulled the "ye ol' I'm avoiding you" trick. A breakup is a breakup is a breakup. I don't have a preference on how they go. I'd rather they not go at all. It's like asking "Which knife would you like to be stabbed in the leg with?" -- I don't want to be stabbed in the leg at all, thank you.
I think it depends on the context of the relationship. If it's a serious relationship, it damn well better be done in person, with the possible exception where it is both long-distance and both parties have seen it coming. If the person getting dumped is heavily emotionally invested in it, then hitting them over the head with it out of the blue and not in person makes you a rather awful person. If it's not a serious relationship, such as with you and Tex, then hells yeah, over the phone, email, whatever. But if it's a long-distance relationship, serious or no, and you decide to do it in person, then damn straight it oughta be at the dumper's expense. In other words, I think what Tex did was pretty obnoxious.
Yep, what Tex did was totally not awesome. In the case of long-distance stuff, phone breakups are the best way to go. But if you're dating someone who it would be just as easy to see in person as to call, then it should be done in person if at all possible. Breaking up with someone over the phone if you see them often is just a puss move.