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Should I try to date a stripper?

Author: Team Totally Awesome
Posted: 11 Oct 2004

I recently joined (I know, way too late for it to be cool) and started sending messages to a few girls than completely forgot about it.

Then today a girl wrote me a message saying I was cute. After talking with her for a bit, we got into where we lived and what we did for work. I'm a student in the dorms, and she's a stripper who works a block away from the dorms. (Say what you want about Georgia, but we know how to set up a proper university) Then she said she'd like to meet me, and invited me to her work.

Do I go? or would it be too weird to meet someone i'd like to date while she was naked. And is it smart to date a stripper in the first place?

-- Deep South

Three questions! A bit demanding, aren't we? But here we go.

1. Yes
2. She invited you, so No.
3. Strippers become insane in the end. It's not smart to date them not at all, not even a little bit. Better to date a librarian, because librarians tend to break out the whips and handcuffs at night PLUS they can make any pesky late fees disapear!

But no, it's not smart to date a stripper, however I think that by all means you should do it, and I should start going to school in Georgia.

Ain't nothin' wrong with fucking a stripper. Nothing at all. There is, however, something wrong with dating a stripper. That is, unless you can deal with dudes trying to grab her tits every weekend. And if you can deal with her raking in more cash in a weekend than you do all week (or will, once you're out of school).

My advice is to hit it until you can't hit it no more and then run the other way, but, then again, I haven't hit it with too many strippers in my lifetime. I think one was. Anyway, yeah, good luck. Don't fall in love, though. That'd be a very, very bad idea, probably landing you in prison one way or the other.

Ask her if you get free drinks and lap dances. If the answer is yes, you should definitely go. As for whether it's smart to date her, let's put it this way: when you tell me "I got the HIV from a stripper I met over the internet," I'm not going to be particularly shocked.

Let's take this in reverse order.

First off, no matter what you think, it is always a bad idea to date a stripper. They are all completely insane, and most of them are addicted to cocaine, meth amphetamine, or both. Now, if this is your idea of a good time (I gotta admit, it is mine), go for it. However, if you'd like to graduate from college and not acquire a speed habit, or a possible restraining order, don't date this girl. Just fuck her stupid.

Point the second. Meeting someone you'd like to date while she's naked? How is this bad? You get a look at the goods before you even have to buy her a drink, or dinner. Futhermore, it's a strip joint, so she can't be mad at you for looking at other naked chicks. They're like scenery. The main point is this: naked women are cool.

Were I you, I'd go. Meeting someone from the Internet is not lame, and neither is hooking up with them. And, at the very least, you can not hook up with this girl, but get in good with her, and therefore her slutty stripper friends. Sounds like a win-win to me, buddy. Rock the hizzy.

Fo' shizzy.

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